


Cats For You And Me

by AutumnPines



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aromantic Aziraphale, Aromantic Crowley, Asexual Aziraphale, Asexual Crowley, Inspired by the cats in Neil Gaiman's panel in Ineffable Con 2, Other, Side note that a qpr isn't just for aros, South Downs Cottage, These two get some cats, They're also in a, queer platonic relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnPines/pseuds/AutumnPines
Summary: It’s past the almost Armageddon, and Crowley and Aziraphale were living peacefully in the South Downs…Until Aziraphale starts hearing random cat noises.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Cats For You And Me

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this rather quickly so I'll probably be back to edit this at some point XD 
> 
> I'm also kinda considering writing a fic where they get a dog (or two) because apparently I'm soft for these two getting some pets. Would be hilarious if Crowley gets a horse. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

“Crowley!”

Crowley snapped his astronomy book closed and made sure to shove it back into Aziraphale’s bookcase before wandering out of the room. “What?”

“Could you come into the living room, please?” Aziraphale’s voice, while sounding confused, didn’t sound distressed, so Crowley calmly made his way down the stairs. 

He found the angel standing in the middle of the living room - his expression showing that he was indeed confused - wearing his small pair of reading glasses, a tan sweater over a blue dress shirt, and of course, a bow tie. Judging from his relaxed clothing and the pile of books on the table next to a chair, he was reading at least a little bit ago.

“Yes, angel?” Crowley moved to stand next to Aziraphale, “If you lost your reading glasses again then they’re on your face.”

Aziraphale’s confusion gave away to annoyance, “Wh - yes, thank you, Crowley. I know where my glasses are. I only lost them once, you know?”

Crowley snorted, “You lost them _three_ times. Once last week, once in January, and once in September of last year. And I remember because two out of those three times, you asked me to help you even though they were sitting right in front of your eyes. I’m not even counting the times in the bookshop.” 

“Oh hush. At least I don’t have twenty pairs of sunglasses stashed in a car.” Aziraphale retorted, holding up a finger when Crowley opened his mouth to respond. “Now, my glasses are not the issue here. I could swear I’ve been hearing a _cat_ in this cottage for the past half hour and just a second ago, I heard something in this room while I was reading. Have you heard anything? Or is this just a joke of yours?”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “I would think I would have better things to do than making cat sounds for half an hour, angel.” 

“Crowley, you once spent a whole five minutes making that poor man at the park think that there was an invisible duck following him.” Aziraphale said, raising an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Not my fault he didn’t give the ducks some of his vegetables.” 

Aziraphale sighed, “Right. I’ll take that you are not actually joking. Time to find this cat then and get the dear home.”

“If there even is a cat.” Crowley said. 

Abruptly, a meow rang out from the kitchen area.

“I guess there is a cat.”

“Did you think I was lying?”

“Of course not.”

* * *

The cat had no bloody right to be this hard to find. They should have been able to find it in less than 10 minutes.

But somehow, _somehow_ it has been an hour since they’ve started searching and they still haven’t found it. The cat seemed to find it fit to tease their incompetence by meowing from a room over, yet when they ran to that room, the cat _wasn’t there._

“Alright, Crowley.” Aziraphale huffed, shoving himself to his feet after looking under the bed. “I say it’s time for break. I’ll admit I’m feeling a tad peckish and I would quite like to finish my reading.”

Crowley hummed in agreement as he swept a hand through his hair, “Sounds good to me. I’m going to take a round around the garden. Call me when it’s time to start the search up again.”

“Jolly good. Try to be at least somewhat gentle on the plants. It is autumn, after all.”

“Yes, yes. I’ll be _jolly good_ to them when they actually shape up.” Crowley muttered, but reached out to squeeze the angel’s hand, allowing himself a small smile when Aziraphale beamed at him in return. 

* * *

Crowley had just finished watering and had put his hand on the door handle when there was the sound of a cat yowling in the bushes. The demon swerved around and darted over, cursing when he was unable to find anything.

However…

If the cat was outside, then that meant that it was no longer on the inside of the cottage. Therefore, they didn’t need to worry about it anymore. Finally.

Crowley grinned and entered the cottage, immediately bounding back into the living room. “Aziraphale!”

The angel looked up from where he was sitting on the chair, taking note of Crowley’s excitement. “Did you find it?”

“Yes and no. I heard it in the bushes while I was in the garden, so it somehow got outside. No need to keep looking now!”

Aziraphale frowned lightly, “That’s all well and good, but I wouldn’t want the cat to starve out there. And a family could be looking for it.”

Crowley groaned and sprawled himself out against the couch. Damn, there was the angel’s goodness streak. “One, cats are natural hunters and there’s plenty of wildlife out here. Two, humans are capable of finding their own lost things.”

“Yes, but I’ve heard that wild cats are rather harmful to the environment. I believe some species have gone extinct because of their hunting. Also, the closest neighbors we have are at least a kilometer away, so that would be quite a lot of ground for humans to cover.” Aziraphale shut his book and took off his glasses. “I say we still have some more searching ahead of us.

With a sigh, Crowley stood up. “Fine. But if we don’t find it by the end of the day, then I’m hiring some human finder to find it for us.”

A meow came from behind the demon. The pair turned around to see the cat was standing on its back two legs, paws reaching out for the open window that was a meter above it. When it realized it was being stared at, the cat swiveled its head to return their stare.

For a couple of tense moments, there was a silent stand off between an angel, a demon, and a cat.

Then the cat sprinted straight out of the room.

And because why bloody not, just as it did, another meow clearly came from outside, close to the window. 

Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other - then said simultaneously, “There’s _two_ of them.”

* * *

Eventually, the pair agreed to split up the load; Crowley was to search the garden, while Aziraphale would search the cottage. Crowley started to call the cats Trouble 1 and Trouble 2, and was tempted to find out if they were some weird form of torture Hell had sent them as punishment. 

Trouble 1 was caught when Aziraphale had the idea of putting some catnip in a spare bedroom and closing the door when he heard the cat inside it. Trouble 2 was caught when Crowley applied the same idea to putting catnip in a large box and closing the flaps when the cat snuck in. After that was done, he carried the box inside and set it on the kitchen counter, making sure that the flaps were firmly taped down. He snapped his fingers to make a row of small circles in the box so that the cat could breathe. 

“Aziraphale!” Crowley called out, “I got Trouble 2!” 

Aziraphale answered from somewhere upstairs, “Well done, dear! What do you think about putting it with the other cat in the spare room until we find the owners?” 

“I’m coming up with Trouble 2 then!”

Thankfully, the two seemed to get along well. Or at least there was never any sounds of a fight. For the next day, they went from home to home in their village area, inquiring if anybody had lost a cat or two. Apparently nobody did, and so the supernatural pair were left puzzling over what to do with them. Soon it was night, and the two were sitting on the couch together with a blanket settled across their legs. A fire was cheerfully crackling in the fireplace, and the room was washed in a warm glow.

“We can’t just let them go in the wild, Crowley!” Aziraphale exclaimed, tapping his fingers restlessly on his knee.

Crowley shrugged, “We could always take them to some cat shelter. I’m sure they would be adopted soon.”

“Adopted…” Aziraphale mused, his face brightening. “What do you say about keeping them? I’ve always wanted to get a bookshop cat.”

“We’re not _in_ your bookshop, angel. And it’s not just one cat.”

“Oh tosh. My library is close enough to a bookshop. I’m sure we'll get along splendidly! What do you say?”

Crowley lolled his head back and let out one long sigh. He wouldn’t say so, but he had occasionally thought about getting a pet… “I guess, angel. _You’re_ cleaning up their litter.” 

Aziraphale snuggled closer and pressed their foreheads together. “Nonsense, we’ll take turns. Now, I’m going to head upstairs and bring the darlings here.”

Before Crowley could protest, the angel had left the room. He crossed his legs and mentally began to plan for all the supplies they would need to get for the two new additions to their little family.

Soon enough, Aziraphale returned, carrying a box that was sure to contain the troublemakers.

“Here we go,” Aziraphale sat back down, and Crowley tossed the blanket back over his legs. Aziraphale gave him a smile in gratitude before opening the box up. Two heads poked out, and the cats slinked out the box, peering curiously at the human-looking entities.

One cat was black with splashes of fierce orange and sharp yellow-green eyes. The other had snow colored fur and sky blue eyes. Both were females, seemed to be in their older years, and judging from their grand size and tufts on their ears, they were Maine Coons. Crowley took one look at the pure amount of _fluff_ that covered their bodies and inwardly groaned at how much shedded fur there was inevitably going to be.

The black and orange cat sniffed at Crowley’s fingers and he gave her a scritch behind the ears. Beside him, the white cat had put its paws onto Aziraphale’s shoulders and was sniffing at his face. 

Aziraphale said, “Hmm, I’m naming this one Yoghurt.”

Crowley’s eyebrows shot up. “Yoghurt.”

“Yes.”

“Out of all the names that exist, you pick...Yoghurt.”

“I’m getting the feeling that you’re not impressed.”

“Well, who would want to be named _Yoghurt?”_

“She reminded me of the color of the yoghurt we made yesterday! Besides, she doesn’t seem to dislike it.”

“She’s a cat, angel. She doesn’t understand one word you’re saying.”

Aziraphale sniffed, “I don’t understand how you don’t understand that Yoghurt is a perfectly fine name.”

“Whatever you say. Since you named that one, I get to name this one.” Crowley said, patting the darker cat. A page from the astronomy book he was looking at - not reading - floated to the forefront of his mind. “I think Felis will do.”

“Felis?”

“Mhm. Some bugger a couple centuries ago wanted to make a cat constellation, which he called Felis. Didn’t become official, but it can be a name for this one.”

“Felis and Yoghurt.” Aziraphale tested the names out and smiled, nodding. “I think I like that.” 

As Felis began to investigate Aziraphale’s lap and Yoghurt padded onto Crowley’s shoulders, Crowley shifted so that all three of his family members were closer together and sighed contentedly. “Me too, angel.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yoghurt is a reference to Neil saying that the Good Omens fandom is like a yoghurt starter, otherwise I never would have even thought of Yoghurt as a name lol. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Aziraphale did name a cat Yoghurt though! 
> 
> I also spent like, ten minutes trying to find a name for Felis and went so far as to google plants named after cats. Found a name eventually!
> 
> And side note but outside cats can be a dangerous thing to the local wildlife, so please keep your cats indoors!


End file.
